Life After My Loss

Since then my world has been pretty crazy honestly. I kind of became extremely consumed with trying for another baby. People don’t talk about miscarriage much or she’d light on the before, after and during affects. They don’t talk about how it leaves you feeling empty, full of questions, vulnerable and helpless. You are left with SOO MANY QUESTIONS ! I.e ( HOW DID THIS HAPPEN ?, Did I cause this ? Could this have been prevented !?! Is there something wrong with my body !!?? Will I have another miscarriage ? Will I ever conceive again ? Will I EVER CARRY TO TERM AGAIN ? ) so many things are running through your head after a miscarriage! In my case I was told that my baby passed due to a chromosomal abnormality and that it was extremely flukey and not likely to happen again. That wasn’t very reassuring at all honestly. One thing that I was particularly concerned about once I semi cleared my mind was “when would it be ok to try to conceive again”. Many people wanted me to wait and give myself some time and stuff but if I’m being honest, after my miscarriage it made me want a baby even more. There is just something about wanting something so badly and then getting it and losing it that makes you want if 20X more. We created that life out of pure love and I wasn't ready to give up that dream despite my loss. Another thing people don’t talk about is the hurt you feel after losing a baby. They don’t talk about the hurt, pain and the jealousy you feel when you see others pregnancy announcements and gender reveals. when you see pregnant women walking around happy and sporting those beautiful yet triggering baby bumps. Women don’t talk about MISCARRIAGE! But I am here to break that stigma ‼️