Hey Guys ! I haven't blogged in a while or just updated you on what's going on in my life...
So I guess I should start out by saying that I HAD A MISCARRIAGE !
So I wanted to share my experience with you on here. I ended up having a DNC which was such a scary thought to me. I’ve never had any major surgeries outside of getting my wisdom teeth pulled, and never have been put to sleep before. They put me to sleep with propofol and put a breathing tube down my throat to protect my airway. Then THEY SUCKED MY BABYS LIFELESS BODY OUT OF ME.
I was told by the doctor “don’t worry it’s exactly what we do for an abortion” 😭 THAT BROKE ME
I can’t wrap my mind around my baby being dead inside of me for almost 5 weeks and not even knowing. Not knowing I was rubbing a belly that didn’t exist. Not knowing that I was talking to a baby that could no longer hear me. I FEEL SO LOST !
I don’t remember any of the procedure thank god. I woke up groggy and crying for my husband and my child.
I don’t know why I’m sharing this, but it’s probably because I still DON’T KNOW how to react or respond. I don’t know if sharing is my way of coping but I just want you to know I feel extremely lost and fragile right now.